“I did my Purification Rundown at Mace-Kingsley when I was six years old.”
“Mace-Kingsley’s Purif is hopping with kid in the sauna sweating out toxins and radiation left and right!”
Seriously, what the hell is wrong with these people? What kid is loaded with drug deposits?
Yet another fun mailer from Mace-Kingsley. And nothing says dangerous quackery like bragging about putting an 8 year old through the purification rundown. Seriously that is freaking child abuse!
For those that don’t know the purification rundown is a Scientology drug and toxin “detox” that requires spending 5 hours a day in a scorching sauna for about 30 days on average. It’s a grueling program for adults not to mention little children. Given that the science behind it is extremely dubious and that it would be rare to find a kid with a drug/toxicity problem putting children through this program is absolutely insane. But that’s Scientology for you…
And hey, Greg Smith is fresh back from his recent indoctrination at Flag and he’s ready to get your little ones whipped into shape so they can face Xenu and the “wall of fire”!
Psychs refueling an airplane with their airborne poisons!!!
An urgent warning is hereby issued to all Scientologists!!! An investigation by OSA has revealed that in addition to drugging the world’s food and water supplies the psychs are now putting deadly psychiatric drugs into the air via chemtrails! As a result COB has ordered that all Scientologists must complete a new purification rundown every 60 days.
Scientology spokesloon Karin Kapow explains the details behind this latest directive from our beloved and brilliant leader:
“Chairman of the Board RTC Mr. David Miscavige found this report from OSA to be extremely troubling. This dastardly plan is obviously a result of our immense success in building ideal orgs all around the world. The psychs are terrified of world clearing and thus launched this latest initiative to create billions of illegal pcs. We cannot and will not let them win. Scientologists must be extra vigilant in these dire days and the only way to remain biologically pure is to do frequent purifs until further notice from OSA.”
“The massive importance and urgency of this directive was underscored by COB’s use of multiple exclamation points in his comm. To wit: “All of you cocksuckers need to get it through your pie faced heads that psych drugs are now everywhere – in the air, water, food, scotch, cigarettes, electricity, radio waves – everywhere!!!!!!!”
Due to this hill-10 chemtrail chaos flapping flap there has never been a more urgent time to move up in IAS and Ideal Org status!
Posted in Satire
Tagged IAS, ideal orgs, OSA, purif, purification rundown, RTC, Scientology
According to the “medical experts” at Mace-Kingsley everyday sources of deadly radiation include:
Even if you’ve only been exposed to one of these you are in grave danger!!!
Per Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard (acclaimed nuclear physicist and professor emeritus of quackery, woo and flimflammery at the esteemed University of Bulgravia) radiation quickly builds up in your body and scrambles your thinking – and only Scientology can save you!
It is a proven fact that the only places on earth that are safe from the constant deadly onslaught of deadly radiation are the specially shielded purif saunas at Churches of Scientology and Mace-Kingsley!!!
In short radiation is everywhere and it is infecting your body as you read this! If your child does not do their purification rundown at Mace-Kingsley they could lose their eternity!!!
And don’t forget that with the new Golden Age of Tech Phase 2 purification rundown you get to wear the spiffy new GAT2 purif-exclusive radiation-blocking uniform!! Here you can see it modeled by Mace-Kingsley’s most recent purification rundown completion who is also our new purif I/C!
Mace-Kingsley’s new purif I/C looks forward to supervising your little ones in the sauna!!!
Posted in Dox, This Is Why (News)
Tagged L. Ron Hubbard, LRH, Mace-Kingsley, practicing medicine without license, purif, purification rundown, Scientology
File this one under all-time romantic getaways. Chill E.B. recently got married and subsequently completed the purification rundown at Flag with his new bride. The newlyweds spent their honeymoon sweating out toxins and other entheta nasties – no BTs though as that comes later. Paints a lovely picture doesn’t it? Lovingly feeding each other horse-sized doses of niacin while sipping calmag from champagne flutes. On to the survival rundown you crazy lovebirds!
Posted in Dox, This Is Why (News)
Tagged Chill E.B., FLAG, purif, purification rundown, Scientology
Scientology 411 