Oh kiddo… wait until you graduate up to pushing body thetans out of your head. Scientology takes the imaginary beings nonsense to a whole new level of crazy.
And seriously, what kid talks like this? Indoctrinating young kids into this lunacy is unconscionable – Scientology has ruined way too many childhoods.
Hear that parents? Rejoice because Mace-Kingsley will now help your child get rid of their monsters (and replace them with new ones). And how will they do this? That’s right – with the power of LRH tech!
And once your precious little ones are freed from their pesky engrams and body thetans Mace-Kingsley will introduce them to their new monsters – Sea Org regges and recruiters who are desperate for fresh young bodies with weak minds to exploit and abuse.
And the wonderful folks at Mace-Kingsley will do all this for just a few thousand dollars. Yay!
Hey kids, getting indoctrinated into Scientology is super fun!
Wow that fish at the bottom right sure looks downtone. He must have crimes!
Greg makes an odd point about children getting auditing and then thriving professionally which includes working for the Sea Org. Sounds like child abuse to me.
An 18 month old child has “gotten rid of unwanted negative emotions from enturbulating situations in her environment.” Umm… ok.
Wait until her sister says “COB is weird” or “I don’t like Scientology any more” and Scientology orders her to disconnect and never see her again.
Let’s see what she thinks of “Standard Tech” then.
Today’s children will become tomorrow’s Sea Org slaves
Mace Kingsley wants to get your kids on and up the bridge because it’s never too early to start indoctrinating people into the Scientology cult. Hell, they’ll even start auditing your kid in the womb! This of course makes for tricky metering but hey… they’re pros at warming up those cans first. 😉
Hey kids, how would you like to move up in status as a Scientologist by becoming a “tool” for life? Well now you can at the Young Scientologists’ Tools For Life Convention aboard the Freewinds!
Here are just a few of the exciting things you’ll learn!
- Special techniques to effectively overcome your friends’ resistance to joining Scientology – the super rad and fastest growing religion in the galaxy
- How to disconnect from downstat friends without becoming misemotional or becoming enturbulated
- How to safely avoid internet entheta and suppressive hate sites
- How bullying can actually prepare you for a fulfilling career in the Sea Org
- Effectively reporting on your family members and friends to your org’s ethics officer (includes free “iSnitch” iPhone app)
- Advanced fundraising techniques you can use to raise money for your Ideal Org and the IAS
And that’s not all! In addition to all of the seminars and workshops there are plenty of fun activities to enjoy!
- Deck swabbing
- Bilge cleaning
- Camp-outs in the ship’s chain locker
- Fun-filled interviews with Sea Org recruiters
- Excursions to beautiful islands to hand out free personality tests and sell Dianetics books*
- Spend a fun-filled day in the RPF!
- Watch an informative 4 hour video briefing from COB!!!
- An all day Tom Cruise film festival
- Attend an exclusive IAS briefing where you’ll learn how our new global media center is going to boom Scientology like never before!
- Listen to a recently discovered LRH lecture where you’ll learn the powerful whole-track technique for writing awesome popular music that LRH used on the multi-platinum and Grammy winning “Road to Freedom”!!!
So join us this January on the Freewinds – it’ll be so theta!!!!
*Diving photo not representative of actual convention activity.
*Failure to meet sales quota will result in being overboarded.
*Bonus camera workshop only available to those who make their Dianetics book sales quota.