Hear that parents? Rejoice because Mace-Kingsley will now help your child get rid of their monsters (and replace them with new ones). And how will they do this? That’s right – with the power of LRH tech!
And once your precious little ones are freed from their pesky engrams and body thetans Mace-Kingsley will introduce them to their new monsters – Sea Org regges and recruiters who are desperate for fresh young bodies with weak minds to exploit and abuse.
And the wonderful folks at Mace-Kingsley will do all this for just a few thousand dollars. Yay!
Hey folks, are you ready to play the Ideal Org game?!? After all it’s only money and old Tubby Hubbard’s cakes don’t come cheap!
And gosh, look what the winning org gets. An acknowledgement party put on by none other than those wild and crazy cats at CLO WUS*! You know what they say – ain’t no party like a CLO WUS party!!!!!
* Continental Liason Organization Western U.S.
Wait until her sister says “COB is weird” or “I don’t like Scientology any more” and Scientology orders her to disconnect and never see her again.
Let’s see what she thinks of “Standard Tech” then.
I received this curious email yesterday evening. For some reason Bridge Publications wants to know where Scientologists purchase their fine jewelry. The survey consists of the following 5 questions:
- What jewelers have you purchased your fine jewelry from in the past or in present time?
- If you were going to purchase high-end 18K gold jewelry, where would you go to get it?
- What is your processing level?
- What is your training level?
- What region do you live in?
Celebrity Centre International in Los Angeles is actually promoting that they put an 85-year-old through the brutally rigorous and medically dangerous purification rundown. This program is very rough even on young adults and to put elderly people and children through it is medically unconscionable in my opinion.
“Starting this procedure, I honestly had doubt, since I have never done drugs or alcohol. However, I am a soon to be 86-year old woman who has had many medical and dental procedures utilizing Novocain and anesthetics. I also had constant sunburns on the Southern California beaches and many X-rays. I was startled to see the dark red flushes and restimulation of many mosquito bites (they love me), horrible pain in both jaws from tooth implants and root canals, then the surprising draining of my sinuses (from years of hay fever) that restored my long lost sense of smell. There have been additional wins, but you get the idea. Big surprises! All that stuff is gone! Thank you all, and most of all, thank you LRH.” — BB
Today’s children will become tomorrow’s Sea Org slaves
Mace Kingsley wants to get your kids on and up the bridge because it’s never too early to start indoctrinating people into the Scientology cult. Hell, they’ll even start auditing your kid in the womb! This of course makes for tricky metering but hey… they’re pros at warming up those cans first. 😉
Joey Collewijn at Celebrity Centre International is here to help you find your purpose in the Sea Org!
This not at all cheesy and predatory looking young man has but a singular purpose – to help you find your purpose in life (which unsurprisingly involves a life of Sea Org slave labor and 18 hour workdays). Whether that purpose is peeling potatoes in the galley, polishing commodes with toothbrushes until they sparkle, or swabbing the deck on an asbestos-laden ghost ship you’ll know that you’re forwarding command intention during your billion year contract!
And if you’re one of the lucky ones, you too might get to sit on picturesque balconies while selling billion-year enslavement to unsuspecting saps who will only see picturesque balconies in forbidden magazines while sneaking a 5 minute break.
Call Joey today – your future awaits!