Hear that parents? Rejoice because Mace-Kingsley will now help your child get rid of their monsters (and replace them with new ones). And how will they do this? That’s right – with the power of LRH tech!
And once your precious little ones are freed from their pesky engrams and body thetans Mace-Kingsley will introduce them to their new monsters – Sea Org regges and recruiters who are desperate for fresh young bodies with weak minds to exploit and abuse.
And the wonderful folks at Mace-Kingsley will do all this for just a few thousand dollars. Yay!
Hey folks, are you ready to play the Ideal Org game?!? After all it’s only money and old Tubby Hubbard’s cakes don’t come cheap!
And gosh, look what the winning org gets. An acknowledgement party put on by none other than those wild and crazy cats at CLO WUS*! You know what they say – ain’t no party like a CLO WUS party!!!!!
* Continental Liason Organization Western U.S.
Wait until her sister says “COB is weird” or “I don’t like Scientology any more” and Scientology orders her to disconnect and never see her again.
Let’s see what she thinks of “Standard Tech” then.
I received this curious email yesterday evening. For some reason Bridge Publications wants to know where Scientologists purchase their fine jewelry. The survey consists of the following 5 questions:
- What jewelers have you purchased your fine jewelry from in the past or in present time?
- If you were going to purchase high-end 18K gold jewelry, where would you go to get it?
- What is your processing level?
- What is your training level?
- What region do you live in?
Celebrity Centre International in Los Angeles is actually promoting that they put an 85-year-old through the brutally rigorous and medically dangerous purification rundown. This program is very rough even on young adults and to put elderly people and children through it is medically unconscionable in my opinion.
“Starting this procedure, I honestly had doubt, since I have never done drugs or alcohol. However, I am a soon to be 86-year old woman who has had many medical and dental procedures utilizing Novocain and anesthetics. I also had constant sunburns on the Southern California beaches and many X-rays. I was startled to see the dark red flushes and restimulation of many mosquito bites (they love me), horrible pain in both jaws from tooth implants and root canals, then the surprising draining of my sinuses (from years of hay fever) that restored my long lost sense of smell. There have been additional wins, but you get the idea. Big surprises! All that stuff is gone! Thank you all, and most of all, thank you LRH.” — BB
Today’s children will become tomorrow’s Sea Org slaves
Mace Kingsley wants to get your kids on and up the bridge because it’s never too early to start indoctrinating people into the Scientology cult. Hell, they’ll even start auditing your kid in the womb! This of course makes for tricky metering but hey… they’re pros at warming up those cans first. 😉
Joey Collewijn at Celebrity Centre International is here to help you find your purpose in the Sea Org!
This not at all cheesy and predatory looking young man has but a singular purpose – to help you find your purpose in life (which unsurprisingly involves a life of Sea Org slave labor and 18 hour workdays). Whether that purpose is peeling potatoes in the galley, polishing commodes with toothbrushes until they sparkle, or swabbing the deck on an asbestos-laden ghost ship you’ll know that you’re forwarding command intention during your billion year contract!
And if you’re one of the lucky ones, you too might get to sit on picturesque balconies while selling billion-year enslavement to unsuspecting saps who will only see picturesque balconies in forbidden magazines while sneaking a 5 minute break.
Call Joey today – your future awaits!
Yet another fun mailer from Mace-Kingsley. And nothing says dangerous quackery like bragging about putting an 8 year old through the purification rundown. Seriously that is freaking child abuse!
For those that don’t know the purification rundown is a Scientology drug and toxin “detox” that requires spending 5 hours a day in a scorching sauna for about 30 days on average. It’s a grueling program for adults not to mention little children. Given that the science behind it is extremely dubious and that it would be rare to find a kid with a drug/toxicity problem putting children through this program is absolutely insane. But that’s Scientology for you…
And hey, Greg Smith is fresh back from his recent indoctrination at Flag and he’s ready to get your little ones whipped into shape so they can face Xenu and the “wall of fire”!
Radiation is Everywhere!!!
And the solution to the constant bombardment of radiation is… the Scientology purification rundown at Mace-Kingsley!!!!
According to the “medical experts” at Mace-Kingsley everyday sources of deadly radiation include:
- Cell Phones & Towers
- Plane Flights
- Nuclear Power Plants
- Medical Tests
- Radiated Food
- Airport Security
- Power Lines
- Electrical Appliances
- Radon Gas in Buildings
- Very Bright Moonlight
- Marcabian Spies
- Wog Schools
- Restimulated Body Thetans
- Very Dense Farts
- Non-LRH Books
Even if you’ve only been exposed to one of these you are in grave danger!!!
Per Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard (acclaimed nuclear physicist and professor emeritus of quackery, woo and flimflammery at the esteemed University of Bulgravia) radiation quickly builds up in your body and scrambles your thinking – and only Scientology can save you!
It is a proven fact that the only places on earth that are safe from the constant deadly onslaught of deadly radiation are the specially shielded purif saunas at Churches of Scientology and Mace-Kingsley!!!
In short radiation is everywhere and it is infecting your body as you read this! If your child does not do their purification rundown at Mace-Kingsley they could lose their eternity!!!
And don’t forget that with the new Golden Age of Tech Phase 2 purification rundown you get to wear the spiffy new GAT2 purif-exclusive radiation-blocking uniform!! Here you can see it modeled by Mace-Kingsley’s most recent purification rundown completion who is also our new purif I/C!
Mace-Kingsley’s new purif I/C looks forward to supervising your little ones in the sauna!!!
Do not hesitate as your child’s eternity is at stake – Do the purification rundown at Mace-Kingsley today!!!
For the past few days, my four-year-old daughter M. wasn’t being her usual enthusiastic self and she was not wanting to go to school or session. Today, Diane went out of her way (exchange 4*) to come to our house to help her. And WOW, when I came home from work yesterday, she was completely full of energy, happy, creative, enthusiastic…her normal self again!!
I was so uptone myself to see this because I had felt hopeless in the morning and so sad and worried that I had to leave her to go to work. We created, laughed, danced and shared together last night and it was so fun to see her happy!
Thanks for all of you at Mace Kingsley, you are the best group in the world and I am so proud to be part of it!!! Thanks Diane for coming to us, I couldn’t ask for anything more. You as a group, all of you are absolutely in exchange 4*!!
“Sincerely, G.” [M.’s Mommy]
Maybe kiddo didn’t want to go to school and session because the Scientologists are weird and upsetting with their strange questions. Ever consider that?
I can’t help but wonder what process Diane used on the kid. Did she put her on the cans and give her a children’s sec-check to uncover her naughty misdeeds?Or did she merely tell her that “out-ethics” children get their toys taken away forever and that she better put on a good show for mommy when she gets home or else?
And hey, what could possibly go wrong with leaving your kid alone all day with a professional Scientologist?
“Hey guess what? Little M. originated that she wanted to join the Sea Org so I took her to Flag where she signed her billion year contract – isn’t that wonderful?”
*Exchange 4 refers to the fourth condition of exchange – “exchange in abundance or give more than what is expected.”