Church of Scientology To Release New Children’s Scientology Basics Book

child-scientologyThe Church of Scientology is happy to announce the upcoming release of an exciting new book of Scientology basic principles and introductory drills for children of all ages! This wonderful book will introduce little ones (adults in tiny bodies) to the theta wisdom of LRH on a gentle gradient that any child thetan can easily confront and duplicate (unless they’re a whole track Marcabian SP). There is truly no greater education that a child could receive than Scientology and Dianetics principles direct from source himself! This book will be priced at $99.99 and purchase is mandatory for all Scientologists with children.

Topics and chapters in this exciting book will include…

How to write effective KRs (knowledge reports) on your parents and chums to get their ethics in.

Disconnecting from your parents With No HE&R (human emotion and reaction) if they’re declared SP.

Passionate kissing with adults and confronting it comfortably.

Why you should drop out of WOG school because the only education worth having is studying Scientology.

Fun and rewarding careers in the Sea Org!

How to sleep comfortably in a ship’s anchor chain locker.

How “ADHD” is a psych invented fraud and can be corrected with TRs and delicious, refreshing CalMag.

Why you should never, ever talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist and how their fake “science” actually comes from the evil planet Farsec!

How to avoid getting enturbulated when your parents leave you alone for months at a time to do their bridge.

Why you should always check under your bed and in your closet for psychs and interstellar intruders from the Fifth Invader Fleet.

How to smoke tasty and refreshing Kool cigarettes just like Ron!

Did we mention all of the fun and exciting careers in the Sea Org?

And most wonderful of all an afterword with a special message to all children from Chairman of the Board RTC, Captain of the Sea Org, and ecclesiastical leader of the Scientology religion Mr. David Miscavige!!!!!!!!!

Rev Slappy Miscavige

Bring me your children!

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