Does it really make sense to spend 80% of your life raising kids, having a career, going on vacations, etc. when you could be advancing Scientology worldwide instead?
Isn’t there a way to devote 110% of your life towards achieving the goals and purposes of LRH and COB?
Yes there is my friend!
But think of what you’d have to sacrifice…
- A nagging spouse and bratty kids that drain your precious theta like vampires.
- An unfulfilling workplace that offers good wages and benefits instead of paying you in valuable Scientology training awards.
- Delicious meals that just make you fat and unsessionable.
- Sex which LRH conclusively proved to be created by whole-track psychs and just plain icky.
- Wasting 8 hours every night sleeping.
And imagine what you’d have to put up with…
- All of the nourishing beans and rice that you can eat!*
- Working in a fulfilling work environment with a team of on-purpose Scientologists!*
- A full 2 hours of sleep every night!*
- A stable income that allows you the freedom to buy occasional snacks from the canteen!
- Free health care at the nearby free clinic for the poor!
- Never worry about being fired as you can’t leave even if you were crazy enough to want to!
- A comprehensive retirement plan!*
- Occasionally work outdoors in the fresh air!*
- Never worry about the headache of planning a vacation ever again!
- Access to a vast library filled with nothing but wisdom from LRH and COB!
* As long as you can only eat one bowl – actual nourishment not guaranteed.
* On-purpose Scientologists typically consist of screaming sadistic psychopaths.
* 2 hours of sleep only allowed for upstat workers.
* Retirement plan consists of $50 cash and cab fare to the closest homeless shelter.
* Outdoor work only allowed on the RPF. Fresh air may consist of dumpster and sewer fumes.
Big thanks to OTVIIIisGrrr8! for the original image.