MC Applebox (aka DJ COB) Drops The Mad Rhymes Yo!


MC Applebox (aka DJ COB) focusing his TRz!

The Church of Scientology is proud to announce that MC Applebox (aka DJ COB) has dropped the following “dope” melody and “mad” rhyme for you to use at your next Ideal Org fundraiser!!!

This brilliantly rousing rap is guaranteed to fire up your public and get them donating like mad toward their next Ideal Org status!!!

It was inspired when Chairman of the Board RTC was researching urban rap and hiphop and discovered the rap artist Vanilla Ice. Mr. Miscavige explains, “His hard-edged lyrics and authentic street cred impressed me greatly as I also live “To the Extreme.” This inspired me to create my own rap based on his “dope” melody.”

Don’t forget that the best way to give our beloved COB “mad props” for this incredibly “dope” rhyme is to move up in status!!!

(Sung to the tune of Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice)

Yo COB let’s kick it!

Ideal Orgs baby, Ideal Orgs baby

Alright stop, collaborate and listen
COB has a brand new invention
The reason that our orgs fail daily
Ain’t a flaw in the tech, it’s that they ain’t built splendidly
Will our failure stop? Yo – I got a plan
Provided by my motherfucking second in command
My boy Tom said expensive assed buildings
Will bring in rich public, so yo I’m all in

If there’s a money flap, yo, I’ll fix it
I’ll dig up some “new” tech to sell to you dimwits

Ideal Orgs baby, Ideal Orgs baby
Ideal Orgs baby, Ideal Orgs baby

Now the fundraiser is jumping
With my trance inducing voice, donaters are bankruptin’
Quick to the credit card machine no slacking
I’m racking up dollars like an IRS tax man

Rollin’ in my bulletproof van
Gotta have protection cuz I’m an important man
Saw a bad accident, someone might die
Did you stop? Naw, I just drove by
Cuz I wuz on the way to fundraise
And they wuz just a PTS wog anyway

Found behind an old commode
The long-lost tech we’ve all been looking fo’
Will the auditing be free since we already did it?
Fuck no fool! This shit’s my golden ticket
Y’all motherfuckers get to pay again
Golden Age of Tech 3 – the changes don’t ever end!

If there’s a money flap, yo, I’ll fix it
Check out my “new” tech you hypnotized dipshits

Ideal Orgs baby, Ideal Orgs baby
Ideal Orgs baby, Ideal Orgs baby

Word to your disconnected mother…

3 responses to “MC Applebox (aka DJ COB) Drops The Mad Rhymes Yo!

  1. Yo Yo Yo, that was DOPE COB!!!!

  2. That was hysterical. COB is rappin while he is slappin LOL

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