Hey kids, don’t waste your summer having fun and enjoying yourself – that’s so downstat and totally out-ethics. Spend your summer at Mace-Kingsley doing the super fun purification rundown! Mace-Kingsley has a brand new sauna (now pedophile and pathogen-free!) and they want to fill it with as many young meat bodies as possible.
Even though you’re young your body is already loaded with drugs and toxins from the environment. The government poisons the air with chemtrails. The psychs put mind-altering drugs in the water and all of the popular soft drinks. They even sneak into your bedroom and slip you psych drugs while you’re sleeping! You need to do your purif and you need to do it right now!
After finishing your purif you can spend the rest of your summer vacation on the super swell Survival Rundown at Flag. After all, what could be more fun than touching walls for hours on end and hanging out with Sea Org recruiters?
And when you’re done with the purif and SRD don’t forget Mace-Kingsley’s super awesome career acceleration program for teens that will prepare you for a rewarding job in the Sea Org!