GAT2 Auditing – The Ideal Org Difference

scientology ideal org

Your typical gaudy and excessively costly Scientology “Ideal” Org

Some Scientologists have asked why the amazing advances and stellar gains of Golden Age of Tech Phase 2 are restricted to Ideal Orgs. Now while questioning COB’s decisions is usually grounds for immediate SP declare – and it’s certainly warranted in this case – COB has kindly offered the following explanation.

David Miscavige swell leader

Our super swell and not at all psychotic leader.

“Golden Age of Tech Phase 2 only works in Ideal Orgs for a number of important reasons. One of the most notable reasons is that an auditor’s TRs are much less likely to go out while auditing in an upstat and sufficiently costly environment. Often in non-ideal orgs (or downstat shitholes as I prefer to call them) the auditor’s TRs go out from the distress of being in such a downstat and entheta environment. By actual tests at int management we found that auditing in Ideal Orgs went orders of magnitude more smoothly in nearly every case thanks to auditors’ improved TRs.”

“Moreover a similar effect is experienced on the PC’s side. When surrounded by such theta splendor supplied by one of my personally designed Ideal Orgs the PC can’t help but feel 100% confident that they will go free. PCs receiving auditing in non-ideal shithole orgs often had full-scale type-3 psychotic breaks. Many even committed suicide or heinous criminal acts!”

“Studying your Basics is also more effective in Ideal Orgs. Many students in non-ideal orgs would go into a sad effect from being in such a depressing building, whereupon they could not study effectively and would pile up the MUs. Moreover clay demos “pop” more in a well lit Ideal Org. Also oftentimes in poorly lit shithole orgs starving staff would mistake the clay for dried gruel, eat it, and require a costly PTS handling.”

Non ideal shithole org

Avoid auditing in non-ideal shithole orgs!

“There is one other factor that is of the utmost importance but involves upper level confidential data. SO IF YOU ARE NOT YET OT READ NO FURTHER LEST YOU LOSE YOUR ETERNITY FOREVER! When receiving certain types of GAT2 auditing in a non-ideal org body thetans are released which then attach to the walls of the auditing room. Eventually the entire org becomes a cesspool of demonic entheta!!! But thanks to my brilliant technical breakthrough all ideal orgs are supplied with a special theta wall cleaner (for the low price of only $99.95 per 2 oz bottle) which removes these troublesome entities and leaves the walls with a theta shine. This is why there is now a weekly white-glove cleaning in all Ideal Orgs.”

“But don’t just take it from me, your infallible ecclesiastical leader – here are some recent success stories that truly drive home the point!”

“Auditing objectives in an Ideal Org makes all the difference in the world. In my old org touching the wall was a troublesome affair as they were so sticky from the cheap paint and multiple layers of dried semen. Many times I couldn’t quickly let go of the wall which would cause the process to fail. But in our new Ideal Org the walls are designed to COB’s impeccably high standards – I can touch the wall and when I let go my finger cleanly slides away. It makes such a difference and I’m experiencing 10x the gains!”

“My old org was so filthy and infested with vermin that I could never get stable gains. In fact every time my auditor would give me a command I would slash my wrists in hopes that I would die instead of being in such a nasty environment! My new ideal org is like a whole new universe – so theta! Now I’m getting the gains that can only occur in a tacky multi-million dollar building! Thank you Chairman of the Board RTC Mr. David Miscavige!”

“I never got stable gains before and had no idea why. However it all made sense when I received an exclusive briefing about the technical necessity of Ideal Orgs. Once I had full conceptual understanding I immediately donated for my Platinum New Civilization Boondoggle Ideal Org status. It was totally worth going bankrupt and destroying my marriage. Now I’m getting the all of gains that LRH intended and that our brilliant leader Chairman of the Board RTC has made possible with his brilliant leadership!!!”

One response to “GAT2 Auditing – The Ideal Org Difference

  1. “Theta Wall Cleaner”? That’s out-standard tech! We old-timers always used Gumbo Butter ®.

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