FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Clearwater, FL USA (Scientology Propaganda Newswire) – January 8, 2013
In the wake of other alternative religions seeking official recognition at the Oklahoma state capitol the Church of Scientology has announced its own plan to install a sacred Scientology religious monument on the capitol grounds next to the Ten Commandments monument. Church spokesperson Karin Pouw offered these details:
“Inasmuch as and insofar as our religion is beloved by billions around the world with over 50,000 churches, missions and groups in over 11,000 countries (and with a forthcoming church on the moon) the Church of Scientology is proud to announce its official plan to install our own monument on the grounds of the state capitol.”
“What we have proposed to build as a testament to our religion is a monument that depicts the most sacred and important artifact and tool of our religion – an ATM machine. Without this wondrous machine the technology of Scientology and Dianetics would not be possible and none would be able to traverse the Bridge to Total Freedom as laid out by L. Ron Hubbard.”
“And as this monument will also be a tribute to the steadfast stewardship of our dauntless, defiant and resolute ecclesiastical leader, Chairman of the Board RTC David Miscavige, who graciously and wisely filled in the many potholes left on The Bridge by LRH, his holiness shall attend the groundbreaking to bless all with his benevolent and divine presence.”
“Fundraising to raise the necessary construction costs will begin immediately as the ecclesiastical leader of the Scientology religion and mankind’s greatest friend, Chairman of the Board RTC David Miscavige has deemed it a top priority. This is due to the fact that millions of admirers of this beautiful monument are expected to immediately swarm their local ideal orgs for introductory Scientology services. Projected costs are estimated at $50,000,000 and all Scientologists are expected to give generously.”
The Church of Scientology is the world’s fastest growing religion with just over a hundred million members added every year* since 2001. The church supports profitable social “betterment” projects around the world such as its “Deny Medicine to the Mentally Ill” campaigns and the Squirrel Busters project to harass and eradicate enemies of Scientology. There is truly no religion beloved by more people on Earth than ours. To learn more about Scientology, visit Xenu.net.
* Membership count includes body thetans.
Church of Scientology Media Relations & Director of Propaganda