Join us here each week as COB takes a few minutes out of his incredibly hectic schedule (which typically consists of handling all of the Hill 10 flapping flaps his juniors created because they’re a bunch of incompetent c**ksucking DBs) to answer your questions about life, business and your bridge progress. To submit a question to his most holy and ecclesiastical sourciness please leave a comment below or tweet it to @Scientology_411.
Dear COB: I think I might be gay. What should I do sir?
You need to immediately report to my personal quarters at Flag for behavior modification that will consist of spankings and sessions on the oiliness table.
Dear COB: I’m hoping you can help me. My local ethics officer says my ethics are out due to my numerous extra-marital affairs and shady business dealings. However that’s not possible since I have donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to the IAS and my local Ideal Org!!!
Send me the name of your EO and your local org. I’ll not have a good and upstat big being such as yourself maligned like that in MY church! I’ll make sure this CI backflashing SP is declared and sent to the RPF’s RPF!
Dear COB: Sometimes I can’t control my anger and I lash out violently toward my co-workers and family. Is there an LRH reference that can help me?
I’m not sure I see the problem here, am I missing something? You sound perfectly normal to me. Maybe the people around you need to quit being so CI and stop pulling it in!